It’s ok. You’re safe here
But where am I?
You’re in the centre. You’re with me. I will not let any child of my love come to harm.
Who are you?
I am the one who started it all. I am The One Who Grieves.
For whom do you grieve?
I grieve for the one whose skin you have built your life upon, whose corpse I broke to bring you here. Many years ago, more years than your mortal mind could begin to understand, I lost them. I curled their corpse around me like a blanket and let it to rot around me until we developed an atmosphere. Until we revolved around an star system. Until we attracted life.
Where do you come from?
I come from far, far away. I can’t remember where. I had a loving family, a strong community. My people don’t die. When the asteroid came, no-one had seen anything like it before. And then the one I loved most in the world lay lifeless. We couldn’t understand it. It took us years to realise they were never coming back. And when I finally realised it, I was so shaken, I wore their corpse like a cloak and ran across the Universe until I became tired, then I curled up inside of it and that has lasted for your forever.
I’m sorry. Grief is so hard.
Yes. You are lucky I am allowing you not to feel it.
What do you mean?
Well, Child of Acacia, whom you care so deeply about, will never die as long as they live here. They reminded me of my lost love. And when I heard that they were ill, I had to intervene. I have powers beyond your imagination. I can make it so they never die.
Coca-Coal?
Ehvay's voice sounds at once too close and too far away. You are so deeply relieved to hear it, but you cannot see them in the dark.
Ehvay! Where are you?
I'm here too. The One Who Grieves won't let me go!
t's for the best. Child of Alnus knows it. You do too, deep down. No-one wants you to die. It's unfair to deprive everyone who loves you of everything you bring
Do you think I don't know that? Do you think I'm not terrified too? But what is keeping me alive down here, trapped, going to do? I can't even see my loved ones without them going on a treacherous quest!
That's true. I need to reduce the size of the trek.
No. You need to let me go.
I can't do that. You will die if I let you leave, like the one I loved.
You said that we are all children of the one whom you loved?
Yes. As they decayed, they produced carbon. The same carbon that allows the mushrooms to bloom, the trees brought from earth to take root, the humans to live. Without my loved one, nothing could live.
Without the death of your loved one, nothing could live. Without the carbon of their decaying body, the mushrooms could not bloom. Without the leaves rotting on the ground, the trees would have no humus to take root.
Without eating the eyeballs of other dead animals, such as humans, the false lizards wouldn't be able to live.
Exactly! This whole planet was formed from death, but does it look dead to you? Because to me, although it may be because this is all I have ever known, it looks more alive than anything. Death nurtures life. One cannot exist without the other.
The One Who Grieves pauses for a minute.
But I cannot stop hurting. I cannot stop grieving. Literally, even. I am trapped inside this corpse now, and to straighten out and escape would be to destroy everything that has formed. I have dedicated the rest of my life to grieving. The rest of infinity. Why would you want the same? Why would you want to live trapped in the shadow of grief your whole life?
As opposed to what? As opposed to Ehvay living here forever and me dying before them? For them to never be able to return to the surface of the planet they love, or to return to find everything gone? Do you really want to curse them with the same immortality that has haunted you? We're humans. We weren't meant to be immortal. And that means we must live with a thousand griefs, and we must carry them together. You may have faced your grief alone, but it is not in human nature to do so . And I don't think you need to grieve alone either. You may be stuck here, but all of us children of carbon, children of your love, children of your grief, are here too And when we celebrated the fruits this planet has given us, we were really celebrating your love. And, now that we know the whole story, we can grieve and celebrate with you. I know it's not much . But we want to help you. But we can't if you kidnap us to stop us from fulfilling our only destiny, rather than letting us rage against it in our own way.
I suppose that makes sense. I will let Ehvay go. But you must tell the rest of the humans that they are living on my love's corpse. You must tell them the truth.
I will. And we will remember it everyday and we will honour it.